my train experiences

my train experiences

1st experience


8th march 2010, Monday

Very irritating leh if you have to keep being nudged at with various size elbows everytime you’re in the train!! Its even more irritating if the people around you are as inconsiderate and kiasu as the people outside the train! It’s not as if by pushing and nudging your hands around my bag can give you more space. It won’t kill you to say “ EXCUSE ME!” yeeeeessssh!!!

In a very odd way, I’m glad I brought my heavy bagpack along with me everyday to work, though it make me look like one overgrown school kid, I don’t quite care. I feel much safer when my bag is ‘covering’ my back because when ever those leechers or whoever tries to lean or rub against me, it’ll end up that they’re doing it against my bag. So it’s not as frustrating as it would have been if they were to really lean or pressed against my back!

And today was like what the..I was literally in another man’s arms thorought ¾ of my journey! Sheeessh! It felt akward because firstly, I was standing too close to his hand that was holding metal pole infront of me that any sudden jerk of the train would definitely end me up kissing his hand! Secondly for the fact that his left arms was stretch across me and that I had to keep moving into his arm due to the non stop pushing and tugging going on at every station! Seriously, if I was as fair as him and maybe looked less irritated, people would definitely thoughgt that we’re an item!! I was very uncomforatble with the smell, (I shall not say why) and of course the fact that I was being too close to him! And shit la, that * man kept leaning against my side, and made me move nearer and nearer to the guy that I was already standing too close to. It felt very very uncomfortable, and I knew he felt it too. At that point of time, I felt like swinging my bagpack across my side and just whack that * man! Like seriously! It’s very very irritating!! I let out quite a huge sigh of relieve when people started to alight the train evenly and that gave him a chance to slip away from me, what a huge relief! It was a double relief when I realised that my stop was just 2 stations away! So the moment to start being kan-chiong and kiasu began as I tried to squeeze my way through the tiny gaps in between passengers that was too eager trying to avoid the obvious fact that an overgrown school kid is trying to make her way out!

And to make things not as perfect as my usual morning should have been, my bus ride from the station to work wasn’t as pleasant as it should! My sami look alike did not board the same bus as me, and that kinda irritated me as I was sooo looking forward to that small over-crowded bus just so that I can look at that pure white face, with those lovely long eyelash protected by his framed glasses as he lowered his gaze and let himself lost in that small book he was engrossed reading. Argh!!


2nd Experience

9th March Tuesday

Ok so what is with the starring people? Do I look like some alien with a bagpack to you? Sheesshhhhhhh!!! It’s not as if my bag was giving you a problem or anything what..you’re standing either infront of me, at my side or just few feet away from me, so how can it possibly be my bagpack right??

Wa lao weii.. irritating la oi!..I’ll tell you how irritating it is/was/will be..

First it was that tall indian man who gave me a good stare/look (which ever that fits best) for 3-4 seconds before I decided to move up my eyes from the floor to look at what it is that he was starring at. It took him about 2 seconds to look away from my direction after that, and I was like huh? I’m sure I am not blocking your view considering you’re way towering most of the people in the cabin, and secondly, I’m not even standing anywhere near you, so why the stare dude? (well I guess this is not as extreme)

So for the second awkward starring incident, well as usual the train was sardinely packed with commuters, just like myself. So I was busy admiring the cabin’s floor trying to listen to the lyrics Sami was singing humbly to when suddenly came a non local lady pushing herself so that she can stand right infront of my nose. If my nose had been any longer and sharper, it would have definitely poked her scalp! So okay I decided to take one baby step back to give myself some space before I actually start breathing down her neck and probably annoy her. But suddenly, she leaned her back against my hand which was holding one of the metal poles, hmm. So as a reflex reaction, I let my hand go and hold the other ‘available’ pole beside it. To my horror, she looked back to face me, (I was as usual looking down, trying to avoid any eye contact with anyone) and gave me a good 3 seconds or more, stare!

Okay, so I felt uncomfortable as she did not move her body to indicate that she was done starring at whatever it is that caught her attention. So again,as I did before, I looked up to look at her, true enough, she was starring at me without any form of expression that could indicate why she was starring at me. After a few seconds later, she started to positioned herself away from me, to look straight to the door and continued to leaned against the pole.
Ok so I might have startled her when I moved my hand away too quickly when she leaned against it, but was it my fault that I did not sacrifice my hand for your own comfort? So is that why you thought I deserved that blank expressionless stare from you? hmmm

So right after the second incident, I learnt my lesson and turn my body away from her and everybody else that was on my left, to look at my right side, that was when the 3rd incident happened. (yes,how interesting, I know) I twisted my body a little bit to my right so that I could look at side without having to strain my neck throughout the journey. I was aware that there was a lady standing very close to me on my right, so which is why I had to make the extra effort to twist my body a little so it wouldn’t look like I was looking at her at all but actually looking just behind her, way behind her. So I was trying to find a fixed spot on the floor( yet again) to let my eyes land on when suddenly, again I realised that someone is starring at me. What the hell is wrong with everyone? I decided not to look up to meet her eyes as I got tired of having to look at them just so I can send that ‘universal-I –want- you- to- quit- starring- at- me’ sign. So I decided to scan the floor for some distraction. I kept looking on the floor, moving my eyes around when I realized that the starring had been going on for longer than it should have been. I started to feel quite annoyed so I decided to look at her. As expected, she looked directly into my eyes, like she’s expecting something to happen I think. I couldn’t remember how my expression was when I looked at her, but I know for sure I wasn’t smiling. As I looked at her, I noticed that she was scanning at my face and then she diverted her attention to that previous non local lady, and then starred right back at me. After starring at me for a few seconds, she decided to stop starring and turn her head to face the door, like any other normal commuters. And again, I felt soo lost, what did I do this time?

That was when I decided enough is enough. So I let myself got carried away by Sami’s soothing voice, not wanting to care about anything else and reach my station in one piece.

why?
all i'm asking you is WHY?
you have no idea how many times i had to delete this sentence just so that i do not sound abusively vulgar..
soo many things whirling around my head.
have i not done enough?
have i not lied to myself and everyone enough?

please, if you feel like hiding something, make sure you hide it good.
don't let me find out like this..



ARGHH, you know what!

forget it.

i feel hurt okay.
really, you've hurt me.
congratulations for hurting me once more.

you have no idea.



there's is no point in faking anything.

no point lying, no point faking, no point in anything at all.


bye!

whoot

alhamdulillah wa syukrirasulillah
everything seems to be less chaotic and i'm less stressed..

the "benjols" around my head are no longer fun to poke at..
its getting more irritating..



He acknowledged my existence!
:O
haha ok lame!




my laptop bag was drenched..
and wow, i saw lines on my laptop..
not a good sign..
definitely not a good sign..
HP, i'll be visiting you soon!


ok bye!

damn **** up system

i'm really pissed with the system
they implement the oh so cathy schemes that attracted our attention and interest,only to scrape it off and implement new shitts..
arghhh..
i hate this!
and plus the module selection is seriously ****** up!
i know i can't play that "i can't be bothered" attitude anymore because it does!
i don't like making decision, especially when it concerns choosing btwn 2 ridiculous choices!!


i was deeply shaken..
i was shaking then, and i'm still shaking now..
you don't know what i feel..
for a moment, the thought of loosing him was like loosing part of myself
i know it sounds cliche'-ish..
but i dont know..it just felt that way..


i dont knw if those were meant for me, or it was just again; an accident
i don't know if it is just towards me or i'm just over reacting; as always
i don't know if it's a coincidence, or if its really a sign that i should be paying more attention to
i don't know if i can understand anything anymore, because now i know; i am not capable of understanding anything more than this
the way to distance whatever thing i have in me from myself, is by getting closer to you; which now seems soo impossible
damn everything i type down sound sooo frustratingly emo!


i still can't decide on anything..
but one thing for sure..
the one thing i really really knw for sure is that..
Sami yusuf's song can never fail to brighten my day..
:)
random i knw..

notice the color. PLEASE



awesomeee..
;)

awesome

it's hard to believe the week is coming to an end..
and it has been almost a week since i started school after the 3 of weeks holiday..
time really really flies nowadays

haha, and guess what?
i saw Ramli Sarip..
haha, i know you guys probably have heard/read this already..
but i dont know why i feel very .. HYPED up!!
maybe because i got to see Papa Rock live yesterday at causeway point!! that too upclose! haha


i don't have any new year resolution or whatsoever..
but IF i did..
it would be..
to live each day better than yesterday.
Its a wasted day if i don't see any improvements in myself today from yesterday


and wow..
awkwardness was in the air..
but it's not because of he was in front of me..
it's not about him at all ..
but i don't know..


i've realized one beautiful fact..
if you have a bestfriend..
than you'll realize that your bestfriend is actually beautiful..
haven't you noticed it before?
when you see 2 best friends walking together..
and you can tell the other bestfriend is better looking than the other friend..
haha, but sometimes you cannot really make out which is more beautiful..
haha, what i'm saying is..
i dont know why, but i feel like a best friend complements you..
you may have beautiful eyes, but she may have the most beautiful and sincere smile..
you may be very outspoken and confident when you speak, but your bestfriend will always be the one that never fails to listen and supports you..
all this little things is what beautify that special thing you have with one another..

I'm blessed to have a beautiful bestfriend.
:)



and you guys must agree with me when i say;
Russian Roulette by Rihanna is awesomely nice!
okay i knw i'm abit late and slow
-__-'

"Russian roulette is a potentially lethal game of chance in which participants place a single round in a revolver, spin the cylinder, place the muzzle against their head and pull the trigger"

:)

OH!
it's 19 july!!!
:D
never been this happy to receive July once again!


i realize i'm such a nuisance sometimes ..
those ard me are always troubled; by me..
i always trouble them..
somtimes i wonder if they know how embarassed i am to be facing them..
but i'm blessed to be surrounded by love.
blessed to be blessed with everything
:)
every little thing you do matters more to me now cause i know it's more than just lip service
it's more than what we can ever imgine
so i'm trying my best to savour each and every moment i spent with the people i call love(s)
more than i used to


to my friends;
wherever you are.
busy with work, projects, personal-social life, or just too busy tryna get busy.. :P
do remember that you do matter
and that you're not forgotten..
because FYI; you are part the big love!
:)

i was watching hancock (again)
i know its a corky movie to some..
but i love it somehow..
not only because i think Will Smith is a hot hunky hunk hunk man!!!
but also somehow i think the show is kinda well..sad..
i especially got a lil touchy at this one particular scene
where Hancock and ray and ray's 'wife' was at the restaurant..
than ray was telling hancock (upon hancock's request) on how they first met..
then you could see the sadness and loneliness in his eyes..
then hancock said he couldnt remember anything and that he was all alone in this world..
like sad right?
what's worst than being the only one of your kind is knowing that you lost the next most important thing in your life; the memories!!!!
"i know that i'm not the most charming person, but i must have been some kind of a scumbag.. no one claim me..no one" John hancock
can you imagine what he must have felt??
for the past 80 years ( oh yea he doesnt age, cool huh?) no one looked for him?? just imagine how he must have felt..
and when he finally found out that Ray's wife is actually his soulmate.. which means she's also a somewhat 'hero' like him..
He had to stay away from her in order for them to be alive!!
sad right??
you've been sooo alone and lost for years and years..
only to find out that the person that loves you and the only there for you, will have to stay away from you, forever!!
hahaha, okaay i should like stop talking about this!!


and something i thought i wana share..

when your girlfriend confess to you that your man is cheating or flirting around behing your back, you better realize that one of them is lying to you. This is when you realize that the world is too small for you to have it both ways. You better start realizing now, realize it quick, cause now, no one waits for nobody.



oh and welcome 2010.
just please don't remove the zeros!
:(

yo!

i'm cravvviiingggggg for salaaaaaad!

i dont know why either..

maybe it's the once in a month hormone acting up thingy.

But its a good thing now that i'm craving for a salad instead of cheese fries, no?

arghhh, i hate myself for this.


i'm very sorry for avoiding, but i cannot come up with any excuse to give anymore.


i don't don't like you, nor do i enjoy avoiding..


it's just me, i'm sorry.

been sick for the past few days,


down with fever, flu, heaty throat, accute asthma, diarrhea and oh ya and not forgetting


dysmenorrhea plus amazing breakouts!! yeaaapp!


what could be worst right?


:)


had to give baminton, jog and gym a pass


:(









oh well, i better start being productive;


i better start doing what i'm supposed to do.















p/s: sorry to those who tried to get through me lately.. HP died on me and i was


quite unmotivated to charge it, (it's the dysmenorrhea syndrome!)